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Why we need gratitude to give thanks
Nope, they're not the same thing.
Kendra Koch
November 28, 2024
From our founder
Dear Community,
No one talks about this, but the holidays aren’t always the season of joy. For many of us, they can bring up a lot of complicated or conflicting feelings.
The more I open up about my own internal dread around this time of year, the more I hear people reflect back their own challenges navigating the heaping pile of excess, societal expectations, physical and emotional labor, and sensory demands that accompany the holiday season.
From excitement and appreciation to loneliness and grief, the holidays have a special way of teasing it all out of us.
So what can we do? I’ve personally been leaning into establishing firmer boundaries and communicating them, creating new family traditions that feel fun and restorative, and doubling-down on my gratitude practice with these free gratitude meditations by Insight Timer.
Speaking of gratitude… I’ve got thoughts on that too… more below ⬇️
Warmly,
Kendra Koch
Founder, Divergently
We can’t give thanks without feeling gratitude
Wait, so you’re saying thanks and gratitude aren’t the same thing?
I am! We can’t authentically give thanks without first feeling gratitude. And, we don’t reap all of the oxytocin-inducing benefits of gratitude without also saying thanks.
Here’s what I mean:
🌱 Gratitude is an internal feeling—an ongoing sense of appreciation for life, people, and experiences. It’s something we nurture within ourselves, whether or not we share it.
🎁 Giving Thanks, on the other hand, is the external expression of gratitude. It’s a moment of acknowledgment, like saying “thank you,” writing a heartfelt note, or showing appreciation through action.
Think of it this way: gratitude is the mindset, and giving thanks is the act that brings it to life. Together, they strengthen connections—both within ourselves and with the people around us. In other words, we can say “thank you” or we can mean “thank you.”
This week, I invite you to explore both:
1️⃣ Reflect on something or someone you feel grateful for. I know that there are times when this is difficult. That’s when it’s most important to try. It can be as simple as; “I am grateful for helping myself get in the habit of feeling grateful.”
2️⃣ Take a small action to express that gratitude—whether it’s a thank-you message, telling someone how you feel, or simply a smile. It’s especially healing if you can try extending gratitude as thanks toward yourself!
“Without gratitude, thank you is just hollow words.”
P.S. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t access gratitude? How did you shift gears? Reply to this email and share—I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Things we’re grateful for…
🧘 Free guided gratitude meditations by Insight Timer
👂️ 3 hours of Brown Noise (for blocking out overstimulating noise) on YouTube
☕️ Elmhurst Pistachio Crème Oat Creamer: It’s the holiday-ish pumpkin spice alternative that you didn’t know your coffee needed.
And these magnetic fidgets that top our holiday gifting wish list…
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